Happy Places and Distraction Bags

Happy places and distraction bags. These were two things that helped me significantly during the relapse a few years ago that I don't remember covering while I was going through it. I had already developed a happy place, but instead of leaving it as just a visual reminder in my mind, I tried my hardest to bring the visual to paper, so that I could always go to it. Sometimes I'm too distracted to focus really hard on getting to my "happy place" during an attack, and being able to have a visual on hand to help my mind get there helps alot. I'm really surprised I haven't covered this one yet; they were two big components to at least helping me cope before.

The concept of a "happy place" is not a new one by far, but it is an underestimated stress relieving tactic. Many people wonder, "What can a happy place do for me? I can't even go there." The point of having one isn't always to go there, although once recovery is fully on the horizon and this place really does exist, then shoot for the stars. But until then, this happy place is where you go to escape the world, escape your thoughts, and in some states of mind this can help restore hope in what I'm sure has become quite the dismal experience. Not saying your lives suck or anything, but it's a very gloomy atmosphere to be in, dealing with anxiety and fear all the time. A happy place is a reminder that not everything is bad, can give you that escape you need at that time, no matter how temporary, and can restore hope as well in the sense that it can motivate you to get there once you get better.

But it is much more than just picturing a beautiful sunset, or an ocean with crystal clear waters gently lapping at your feet; the visual is just the beginning and this is where the concentration may begin to falter if you're in attack mode. The item you are picturing is just the background, the smaller picture to the mental environment you are creating. As common as the term is these days, mainly said in joking or neurotic manners of speaking, it is still very surprising that there are genuinely people who don't know what a happy place is. I had to explain the general idea of the happy place to my mom, and even though many times it probably slips her mind when her stress and depression begin to get the better of her I know that having a happy place to go to from time to time isn't too shabby either.

For those of you who aren't aware or familiar with this idea yet, I'll give you a little walkthrough that you can practice with me now if you like. It's pretty simple, actually, I just want to make sure you all understand it so you can get the best experience you can out of it. Picture a location you've always wanted to go, preferably someplace that relaxes your mind and brings you peace. This place can be a beach, a spa, it doesn't matter. But don't just picture the location, put yourself there. Say the location you chose is a beach after all. Picture how the sand feels between your toes--is it cold, is it soft, does it have particles or other things in it, etc. Smell the air in this location--does it reek of saltwater, is the saltwater aroma more subtle, are there other scents present, etc. What can you hear, do you hear any animals off in the distance, any music, people, talking, etc.? What are you doing, are you walking, are you walking alone or with another person, are you sitting down and relaxing? The point of all the questions here is to help you make this experience as 3d, as realistic as possible. Use these questions as guiding points to get more in depth with this visual. Paint the picture as colored, as detailed, as vivid as you need to. The deeper the better because when you really need to get away to that place you have created, really picture yourself there.

Whenever you feel yourself reaching that limit or point of no return, feeling an excess of any negative feeling, rely on that place as the "happy place." However, do not use this place on the normal or it will lose its significance and won't be as welcoming when you return to it. Go to this place when and only when you absolutely need to, and when you have regained your calm or sense of peace, leave it. Do not use it as a crutch, or you will find yourself doing more daydreaming than going about your day.

Distraction bags were also a godsend to me when I was trying to recover by leaving the house. These bags are filled with things that help to distract you and calm you down, in essence bringing a part of your security blanket--your home--with you. My distraction bag had a few notebooks, a book that had different Scriptures in it for various issues or questions you may ask God, a couple of puzzle books, my anxiety workbook and journal, and a few magazines. I also had a couple of pictures, one with my mom and the other with my grandma. I still carry both of those around today, even though I don't need a distraction bag anymore. Your distraction bag doesn't have to contain the same things as mine; yours should be full of things that make you feel better and calm you down. The purpose of the bag is to help you adjust to the outside and be able to be out around people and still have a little bit of your own comfort level. I used to believe that I'd be completely uncomfortable being outside of my house with other people because I couldn't take anything with me to distract me or remind me of my security blanket, which was my house. I got the distraction bag and it ended up helping me significantly. And in under six months, I didn't need it anymore. Using the distraction bag helped lead into conversations when people asked what it was or what something was that I had inside of it, and before long, I wasn't relying on it quite as much as I became more comfortable with my surroundings. Luckily for me, at that time I only went a handful of places, none of which were unfamiliar to me after a time, mainly just uncomfortable because they weren't home. Bringing home with me eventually helped me to leave it at home. Don't rush yourself to get rid of your distraction bag, as a matter of fact, have fun with it. Decorate your bag, come up with new things and items to include in the bag, anything to help it be more exciting for you to take with you.

Happy places and distraction bags got me through a very tough period in my recovery; they helped me to become more comfortable with outside surroundings and people. I still rely on the happy place today; that's just a normal stress reliever. Distraction bags are more anxiety specific but please have fun with it for as long as you may need it in your life. I hope these tips work for you!